Sink your teeth into a collection of 60 hilarious jokes about vampires, those nocturnal creatures of the night! Whether you’re a fan of supernatural humor or just looking for some fang-tastic jokes, these will have you howling with laughter.
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Table of Contents
Vampire Puns (Part 1)
Prepare for a coffin-load of puns in the first part. Share these puns to spread the vampire humor!
- Why did the vampire become a musician? He had a great “bite”!
- How do vampires start a letter? “Tomb” it may concern…
- Did you hear about the vampire’s cooking show? It’s called “Bite of the Living”!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange!
- Why did the vampire go to school? To improve his “grave” reading skills!
- What do you call a vampire who can sing? A “fang”-tastic vocalist!
- How do vampires keep their shirts wrinkle-free? They use “broom”sticks!
- Why did the vampire bring a ladder to the castle? He heard the stakes were high!
- How do vampires make important decisions? They “count” on it!
- Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He wanted to work with “type”-A people!
Vampire Puns (Part 2)
Continue to explore vampire puns in the second part. Share these puns for even more blood-curdling amusement!
- Why did the vampire become a detective? He loved “stake”-outs!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite type of soup? Tomato “blood”-st!
- How do vampires enjoy their coffee? With a little “scream” and sugar!
- Why don’t vampires ever get bored? They always have something “bat-teresting” to do!
- What do you call a vampire who’s a stand-up comedian? A “joke-sucker”!
- How do vampires keep their skin looking great? They avoid sunlight like the plague!
- Why did the vampire get a job as a tailor? He could always “sew” things up!
- How do vampires organize their books? In “coffin” itories!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa!
- Why don’t vampires ever get lost? Because they always “count” their steps!
Vampire One Liners
Enjoy these quick one-liners for some undead humor. Share these jokes to add some vampire charm to someone’s day!
- I told a vampire joke, and it really “sucked” them in.
- Why did the vampire bring a broom to the castle? Because he wanted to “sweep” the princess off her feet!
- How do vampires stay in touch with their emotions? They “fang” about it!
- What do vampires do when they’re feeling thirsty? They have a little “bite”!
- Why did the vampire bring a coffin to the costume party? He wanted to “nail” the look!
- How do vampires organize their schedule? With a “drac-ular” planner!
- Why don’t vampires ever get tired of jokes? Because they have a “dead”pan sense of humor!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite dance? The “vamp”-ire waltz!
- Why don’t vampires ever get sunburned? Because they’re used to “night”-mares!
- How do vampires make friends? They “fang” out!
Best Vampire Jokes
These top-notch vampire jokes are sure to make you laugh like a bat out of hell. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to vampire humor!
- Why don’t vampires use social media? Because they’re afraid of crosses!
- How do vampires greet each other? “Fangs” for the memories!
- What do you call a vampire who’s always on time? “Count” punctual!
- Why did the vampire become a teacher? He had a lot of “night” classes!
- How do vampires play baseball? They use “fang”-s and bats!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite type of boat? A blood vessel!
- Why did the vampire bring a pillow to the blood bank? He wanted to take a “bite” nap!
- How do vampires make phone calls? They use their “cell” phones!
- Why did the vampire go to the comedy club? He heard they had some “bats” in the belfry!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Halloween, of course!
- Why did the vampire become a musician? Because he wanted to “bite” into the music scene!
- How do vampires prefer their steak cooked? “Bloody” rare!
- Why did the vampire always carry a pencil? In case he needed to draw some “blood”!
- What do you call a vampire who’s always on the go? “Count” Dracu-late!
- How do vampires keep their breath fresh? They use “fang”-paste!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite type of fruit punch? Blood orange!
- Why don’t vampires ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you cast a shadow!
- How do vampires take selfies? With a “fang”-tastic camera!
- Why did the vampire bring a coffin to the party? He wanted to have a “grave” time!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite type of pet? A bloodhound!
- How do vampires make decisions? They flip a “coin”!
- Why did the vampire bring a ladder to the library? He heard the books were “stake”-y!
- What do you call a vampire who loves candy? A “suck”-er for sweets!
- How do vampires write letters? With “bloody” ink!
- Why did the vampire get a job as a therapist? Because he’s a good listener and doesn’t interrupt with garlic!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite game? Hide and “creep”!
- How do vampires communicate with each other from a distance? They use “blood”-thirsty telepathy!
- Why don’t vampires ever get into arguments? Because they always “bite” their tongues!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite type of juice? Tomato “blood”-st!
- How do vampires stay in shape? With “neck”-ercize!
Final Thoughts
We hope these vampire puns and jokes brought some fang-tastic laughter to your day! If you’re still ready for more laughs, check out these other collections of jokes:
- Supernatural Humor Jokes
Remember, sharing a good laugh is a wonderful way to connect with others. Share these jokes with friends and family to bring some vampire-inspired humor to their night!
