Get ready to score some laughs with these 70 hilarious jokes all about the exciting world of football (soccer in some regions). Whether you’re a football enthusiast or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to add some humor to your time on the pitch.
Jump to:
Table of Contents
Football Puns
Prepare for some goal-worthy humor with this collection of puns centered around football. Share these puns to spread the football joy and humor!
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the match? To “reach” new heights!
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of music? “Kick” and roll, of course!
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a bakery? He specializes in “header” rolls!
- How do football players greet each other on the pitch? With a “header” and a “tackle”!
- What’s a football player’s favorite fruit? “Penalty”-grapes.
- Why did the football player bring an umbrella to the match? In case of a “downpour.”
- How do football players apologize? They say, “Sorry, I was in a “free kick” mood.”
- What’s a football player’s favorite planet? “Futbol”-tus.
- Why did the football player bring a football to lunch? To “pass” the time.
- Why was the football player always in a good mood? Because he had a “field” of jokes!
Football One Liners
Enjoy these quick one-liners for some goal-tastic amusement. Share these jokes to add a touch of humor to your football matches.
- Football: where “kicks” become punchlines.
- I tried playing football once, but I’m not “goal-ted” for it.
- How do football players stay cool on the pitch? They sip on “penalty”mint tea.
- Football is like a ballet with a ball.
- Why did the football player bring a pen to the match? To “draw” up the tactics.
- Football is the art of strategy and teamwork.
- I told my friend I’m going to play football. They said, “That’s a “score” idea!”
- What’s a football player’s favorite Olympic sport? “Goal” vaulting.
- Football: where “corner kicks” and laughs are part of the game.
- Football: where “hat-tricks” are a way of life.
Best Football Jokes (Part 1)
Enjoy the first part of the best football jokes that are sure to make you smile. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to football-related humor!
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the championship match? To “climb” to victory!
- What do you call a football player who never gives up? “Un-stoppable.”
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a travel agency? They offer “cross” country vacations!
- How do football players say goodbye on the pitch? They “kick” you later!
- Why did the football player bring a picnic basket to the match? To “score” some delicious snacks.
- Football player’s favorite dance move? The “goal” shuffle.
- What’s a football player’s favorite dessert after a game? “Goal post” pie.
- Did you hear about the football player who started a pizza business? Their specialty is “corner kick” pies.
- Why did the football player bring a stopwatch to lunch? To “time” their meal.
- What’s a football player’s favorite time of day? “Kick-off”-clock!
Best Football Jokes (Part 2)
Enjoy the second part of the best football jokes that are sure to keep the laughter going. These jokes continue the fun-filled football humor!
- Why did the football player refuse to share their lucky football? They didn’t want to “lose their touch.”
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a laundry service? They wanted to “tackle” the competition.
- What’s a football player’s favorite part of football? The “goal” moment.
- How do football players practice for a big match? They “pass” it up.
- Why did the football coach go to the beach with sunscreen and a football? To work on their “sand football.”
- What did the football player say to the stressed-out newbie? “Let’s “defend” your worries and find your “flow.”
- Why was the football team always cool under pressure? Because they knew how to “field” with it.
- What’s a football player’s favorite kind of footwear? “Cleats.”
- Did you hear about the football player who became a gardener? He mastered the “pitch” for weeds.
- How do football players take their coffee? “With a side of “volleys.”
- Why was the football team always good at math? Because they knew how to use their “heads” in calculations.
- What do you call a football player’s favorite dessert? “Tackle”berry pie.
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the practice? To work on their “header” skills.
- How do football players stay warm in the winter? They huddle up for some “teamperature” control.
- Why did the football player bring a map to the match? To find the “goal” efficiently.
- What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A “striker” chef.
- Why did the football player go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
- What’s a football player’s favorite TV show? “Breaking Goal.”
- What do football players eat before a big game? “Tacko” Bell.
- How do football players stay fit? They “run the pitch.”
- Cartoon graphic of football players sharing a laugh on the pitch.
- Why did the football player bring a pencil to the game? To “draw” fouls.
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of seafood? “Penalty” shrimp.
- Why was the football player always calm under pressure? Because he had nerves of “steel”!
- What do you call a football player who can play a musical instrument? A “musical midfielder.”
- Why did the football player bring a backpack to the stadium? In case he needed a “sub-stitute.”
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of movie? “Goal”-digger films.
- Why did the football player bring a dictionary to the match? To understand all the “headers.”
- What do you call a football player’s favorite vegetable? “Header” lettuce.
- Why don’t football players ever become poets? Because they can’t stop “kicking” around ideas.
- How do football players measure success? With “goal”-ons and assists.
- Cartoon graphic of football players enjoying a laugh on the pitch.
- Why did the football player bring a backpack to the game? In case he needed to “tackle” some extra gear.
- What’s a football player’s favorite time of the day? “Kickoff” time!
- Why did the football player bring a hairbrush to practice? To “brush up” on his skills.
- What do football players do during a storm? They “weather” it out.
- Why did the football player become an artist? He had a natural talent for “draw”ing fouls.
- What’s a football player’s favorite book? “The Kicking Tree.”
- Why did the football player bring a suitcase to the stadium? In case he needed to “pack” a punch.
- What’s a football player’s favorite subject in school? “Soccer”-logy.
Final Thoughts
We hope these football jokes added some humor and excitement to your time on the pitch. If you’re still ready for more laughs, check out these other collections of jokes:
- Sports Humor Jokes
- Playful Puns for a Good Laugh
- Silly Jokes for Light-hearted Moments
Remember, sharing a good laugh is a great way to enjoy your football matches and connect with fellow players. Share these jokes with your football buddies for some goal-tastic enjoyment!
It’s hard to find knowledgeable people on this topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks
Iran Charter ( ایران چارتر ) is Iran’s first online charter and flight ticket purchase system Charter,as the first comprehensive online ticket service provider of charter airline tickets,seeks to provide easy and convenient services to customers for easy purchase of airline tickets,so we believe that the first principle of e-commerce is the ease of operation, with a contract As a ticket supplier,We have made it easy for you with charter companies and different airlines.
I am glad to be a visitor of this sodding site! , thankyou for this rare info ! .
Mitolyn is a cutting-edge natural dietary supplement designed to support effective weight loss and improve overall wellness.
I’m impressed, I must say. Actually rarely do I encounter a blog that’s each educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you’ve gotten hit the nail on the head. Your thought is excellent; the problem is one thing that not enough individuals are talking intelligently about. I’m very blissful that I stumbled throughout this in my search for one thing relating to this.
Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossips and internet and this is really irritating. A good blog with interesting content, that is what I need. Thanks for keeping this web-site, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can’t find it.
As a Newbie, I am constantly exploring online for articles that can be of assistance to me. Thank you
This design is wicked! You certainly know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!
I have been examinating out many of your articles and i can state pretty nice stuff. I will definitely bookmark your blog.
I¦ve been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or weblog posts on this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this website. Reading this information So i¦m satisfied to exhibit that I’ve a very good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I most surely will make sure to don¦t overlook this site and provides it a glance regularly.
Howdy would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with? I’m looking to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!
Well I really liked reading it. This subject provided by you is very useful for accurate planning.
Thanks a lot for sharing this with all of us you really know what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Kindly also visit my site =). We could have a link exchange arrangement between us!
Hi there, simply became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it is really informative. I am going to be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate for those who continue this in future. Numerous other folks will probably be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
I conceive this site contains some real fantastic information for everyone : D.
I believe you have noted some very interesting points, appreciate it for the post.
It’s in reality a great and useful piece of information. I’m satisfied that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
You can definitely see your enthusiasm within the paintings you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to say how they believe. All the time follow your heart. “If you feel yourself falling, let go and glide.” by Steffen Francisco.
I appreciate, cause I found just what I was looking for. You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye
Thank you for sharing nice post, will be back for more great info.
I have been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this website. Thanks , I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your website?
A person essentially help to make seriously posts I would state. This is the very first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I surprised with the research you made to create this particular publish amazing. Great job!
Wonderful paintings! That is the type of information that are supposed to be shared around the internet. Disgrace on the search engines for not positioning this submit higher! Come on over and consult with my web site . Thanks =)
That is very interesting, You’re an overly skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and sit up for in the hunt for more of your wonderful post. Also, I have shared your website in my social networks!
Pretty part of content. I just stumbled upon your web site and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your weblog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing for your feeds and even I achievement you get entry to consistently rapidly.
Nice post, thank you for sharing your experience
Very nice article and right to the point. I am not sure if this is in fact the best place to ask but do you people have any ideea where to hire some professional writers? Thanks in advance 🙂
Great web site. Plenty of useful info here. I’m sending it to some friends ans also sharing in delicious. And of course, thanks for your effort!
Great line up. We will be linking to this great article on our site. Keep up the good writing.
Good – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, web site theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task.
Hello there! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us beneficial information to work on. You have done a extraordinary job!
You actually make it appear so easy with your presentation but I to find this topic to be really one thing which I feel I’d by no means understand. It sort of feels too complex and extremely large for me. I am taking a look forward for your next publish, I will attempt to get the dangle of it!
Thank you, I have just been looking for information about this subject for ages and yours is the greatest I’ve discovered till now. But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the source?
It is in reality a great and helpful piece of info. I am satisfied that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the blog post, can I set it up so I get an alert email whenever you write a fresh article?
Nagano Lean Body Tonic is a dietary supplement developed to support healthy weight management, improve metabolism, and promote overall wellness.
As a Newbie, I am always searching online for articles that can aid me. Thank you
I?¦ve read several good stuff here. Definitely value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much attempt you place to make one of these great informative site.
Generally I don’t learn post on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very compelled me to take a look at and do so! Your writing style has been amazed me. Thanks, very great post.
As I web site possessor I believe the content matter here is rattling great , appreciate it for your hard work. You should keep it up forever! Best of luck.
Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thank you Nevertheless I am experiencing problem with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting identical rss problem? Anyone who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx
I think other site proprietors should take this website as an model, very clean and magnificent user genial style and design, let alone the content. You are an expert in this topic!
Great write-up, I am normal visitor of one’s site, maintain up the nice operate, and It’s going to be a regular visitor for a long time.
Wonderful site. A lot of useful information here. I’m sending it to some friends ans also sharing in delicious. And of course, thanks for your effort!
Quietum Plus has been designed for all ages and medical conditions in order to naturally support your brain and auditory system.
Those are yours alright! . We at least need to get these people stealing images to start blogging! They probably just did a image search and grabbed them. They look good though!