Get ready to score some laughs with these 70 hilarious jokes all about the exciting world of football (soccer in some regions). Whether you’re a football enthusiast or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to add some humor to your time on the pitch.
Jump to:
Table of Contents
Football Puns
Prepare for some goal-worthy humor with this collection of puns centered around football. Share these puns to spread the football joy and humor!
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the match? To “reach” new heights!
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of music? “Kick” and roll, of course!
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a bakery? He specializes in “header” rolls!
- How do football players greet each other on the pitch? With a “header” and a “tackle”!
- What’s a football player’s favorite fruit? “Penalty”-grapes.
- Why did the football player bring an umbrella to the match? In case of a “downpour.”
- How do football players apologize? They say, “Sorry, I was in a “free kick” mood.”
- What’s a football player’s favorite planet? “Futbol”-tus.
- Why did the football player bring a football to lunch? To “pass” the time.
- Why was the football player always in a good mood? Because he had a “field” of jokes!
Football One Liners
Enjoy these quick one-liners for some goal-tastic amusement. Share these jokes to add a touch of humor to your football matches.
- Football: where “kicks” become punchlines.
- I tried playing football once, but I’m not “goal-ted” for it.
- How do football players stay cool on the pitch? They sip on “penalty”mint tea.
- Football is like a ballet with a ball.
- Why did the football player bring a pen to the match? To “draw” up the tactics.
- Football is the art of strategy and teamwork.
- I told my friend I’m going to play football. They said, “That’s a “score” idea!”
- What’s a football player’s favorite Olympic sport? “Goal” vaulting.
- Football: where “corner kicks” and laughs are part of the game.
- Football: where “hat-tricks” are a way of life.
Best Football Jokes (Part 1)
Enjoy the first part of the best football jokes that are sure to make you smile. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to football-related humor!
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the championship match? To “climb” to victory!
- What do you call a football player who never gives up? “Un-stoppable.”
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a travel agency? They offer “cross” country vacations!
- How do football players say goodbye on the pitch? They “kick” you later!
- Why did the football player bring a picnic basket to the match? To “score” some delicious snacks.
- Football player’s favorite dance move? The “goal” shuffle.
- What’s a football player’s favorite dessert after a game? “Goal post” pie.
- Did you hear about the football player who started a pizza business? Their specialty is “corner kick” pies.
- Why did the football player bring a stopwatch to lunch? To “time” their meal.
- What’s a football player’s favorite time of day? “Kick-off”-clock!
Best Football Jokes (Part 2)
Enjoy the second part of the best football jokes that are sure to keep the laughter going. These jokes continue the fun-filled football humor!
- Why did the football player refuse to share their lucky football? They didn’t want to “lose their touch.”
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a laundry service? They wanted to “tackle” the competition.
- What’s a football player’s favorite part of football? The “goal” moment.
- How do football players practice for a big match? They “pass” it up.
- Why did the football coach go to the beach with sunscreen and a football? To work on their “sand football.”
- What did the football player say to the stressed-out newbie? “Let’s “defend” your worries and find your “flow.”
- Why was the football team always cool under pressure? Because they knew how to “field” with it.
- What’s a football player’s favorite kind of footwear? “Cleats.”
- Did you hear about the football player who became a gardener? He mastered the “pitch” for weeds.
- How do football players take their coffee? “With a side of “volleys.”
- Why was the football team always good at math? Because they knew how to use their “heads” in calculations.
- What do you call a football player’s favorite dessert? “Tackle”berry pie.
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the practice? To work on their “header” skills.
- How do football players stay warm in the winter? They huddle up for some “teamperature” control.
- Why did the football player bring a map to the match? To find the “goal” efficiently.
- What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A “striker” chef.
- Why did the football player go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
- What’s a football player’s favorite TV show? “Breaking Goal.”
- What do football players eat before a big game? “Tacko” Bell.
- How do football players stay fit? They “run the pitch.”
- Cartoon graphic of football players sharing a laugh on the pitch.
- Why did the football player bring a pencil to the game? To “draw” fouls.
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of seafood? “Penalty” shrimp.
- Why was the football player always calm under pressure? Because he had nerves of “steel”!
- What do you call a football player who can play a musical instrument? A “musical midfielder.”
- Why did the football player bring a backpack to the stadium? In case he needed a “sub-stitute.”
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of movie? “Goal”-digger films.
- Why did the football player bring a dictionary to the match? To understand all the “headers.”
- What do you call a football player’s favorite vegetable? “Header” lettuce.
- Why don’t football players ever become poets? Because they can’t stop “kicking” around ideas.
- How do football players measure success? With “goal”-ons and assists.
- Cartoon graphic of football players enjoying a laugh on the pitch.
- Why did the football player bring a backpack to the game? In case he needed to “tackle” some extra gear.
- What’s a football player’s favorite time of the day? “Kickoff” time!
- Why did the football player bring a hairbrush to practice? To “brush up” on his skills.
- What do football players do during a storm? They “weather” it out.
- Why did the football player become an artist? He had a natural talent for “draw”ing fouls.
- What’s a football player’s favorite book? “The Kicking Tree.”
- Why did the football player bring a suitcase to the stadium? In case he needed to “pack” a punch.
- What’s a football player’s favorite subject in school? “Soccer”-logy.
Final Thoughts
We hope these football jokes added some humor and excitement to your time on the pitch. If you’re still ready for more laughs, check out these other collections of jokes:
- Sports Humor Jokes
- Playful Puns for a Good Laugh
- Silly Jokes for Light-hearted Moments
Remember, sharing a good laugh is a great way to enjoy your football matches and connect with fellow players. Share these jokes with your football buddies for some goal-tastic enjoyment!
Thank you, I’ve just been searching for info about this topic for ages and yours is the best I’ve discovered till now. But, what about the bottom line? Are you sure about the source?
Nice blog here! Also your site loads up very fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol
Nice post, thank you
nice quality post, thank you
Love your post, thanks for sharing
Mitolyn is a cutting-edge natural dietary supplement designed to support effective weight loss and improve overall wellness.
After all, what a great site and informative posts, I will upload inbound link – bookmark this web site? Regards, Reader.
I and my friends were actually examining the good secrets located on the blog then immediately I had a horrible suspicion I had not expressed respect to the web site owner for those tips. All of the guys are already for that reason stimulated to read all of them and have in effect in actuality been having fun with them. I appreciate you for being considerably considerate and also for figuring out such useful subject matter most people are really wanting to learn about. Our honest apologies for not expressing appreciation to sooner.
I’ve recently started a site, the information you offer on this web site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work. “My dear and old country, here we are once again together faced with a heavy trial.” by Charles De Gaulle.
At this time it sounds like BlogEngine is the top blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?
Very good written article. It will be beneficial to anyone who utilizes it, as well as myself. Keep doing what you are doing – for sure i will check out more posts.
Pretty great post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wished to mention that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing in your feed and I’m hoping you write again very soon!
Thank you for another informative blog. The place else could I get that kind of info written in such an ideal way? I’ve a challenge that I’m simply now running on, and I’ve been at the glance out for such info.
Does your website have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail. I’ve got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.
You have brought up a very great details, appreciate it for the post.
Great post, love to ream more like this in future
You have observed very interesting points! ps decent internet site.
hey there and thank you for your information – I’ve certainly picked up something new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical points using this site, as I experienced to reload the website a lot of times previous to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your web host is OK? Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will sometimes affect your placement in google and could damage your quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my email and could look out for a lot more of your respective fascinating content. Make sure you update this again very soon..
I’ve read some good stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how much effort you put to make such a great informative site.
Great line up. We will be linking to this great article on our site. Keep up the good writing.
Way cool, some valid points! I appreciate you making this article available, the rest of the site is also high quality. Have a fun.
I am constantly browsing online for articles that can aid me. Thx!
great post here, thak you
What i do not realize is in fact how you’re no longer actually a lot more smartly-preferred than you might be right now. You’re very intelligent. You know therefore considerably in relation to this matter, produced me for my part believe it from numerous numerous angles. Its like men and women don’t seem to be involved unless it’s something to do with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs outstanding. At all times handle it up!
Wow! Thank you! I always needed to write on my website something like that. Can I implement a part of your post to my blog?
I very happy to find this web site on bing, just what I was searching for : D as well saved to fav.
I do not even know the way I finished up here, however I thought this publish was once good. I don’t recognize who you’re however definitely you’re going to a famous blogger should you are not already 😉 Cheers!
I like this site its a master peace ! Glad I observed this on google .
Its excellent as your other blog posts : D, regards for putting up.
Can I simply say what a relief to find somebody who actually is aware of what theyre speaking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know find out how to carry a problem to mild and make it important. Extra individuals have to learn this and understand this facet of the story. I cant believe youre no more popular since you positively have the gift.
I have been examinating out some of your articles and i can state pretty good stuff. I will definitely bookmark your blog.
This is the right blog for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!
I?¦ve learn several excellent stuff here. Definitely value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much attempt you put to make the sort of excellent informative website.
I always was interested in this subject and stock still am, thanks for putting up.
Hello there, You’ve performed an incredible job. I will definitely digg it and for my part suggest to my friends. I’m confident they will be benefited from this site.
Good info and right to the point. I am not sure if this is truly the best place to ask but do you people have any thoughts on where to hire some professional writers? Thx 🙂
Whats Taking place i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely useful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & aid other customers like its aided me. Great job.
I like this web site so much, saved to fav.
I?¦m not certain the place you are getting your information, however good topic. I needs to spend some time studying more or figuring out more. Thanks for fantastic information I used to be looking for this information for my mission.
I as well as my guys ended up following the great techniques from the website then the sudden came up with a terrible suspicion I had not thanked the web site owner for those secrets. Most of the women are actually certainly warmed to read them and have certainly been having fun with those things. Thanks for indeed being indeed kind as well as for obtaining some perfect ideas most people are really desirous to learn about. My personal honest regret for not expressing gratitude to you sooner.
I really like your writing style, excellent information, regards for posting :D. “Silence is more musical than any song.” by Christina G. Rossetti.
Together with every thing that appears to be developing within this particular area, your points of view are somewhat exciting. Even so, I beg your pardon, but I do not subscribe to your entire plan, all be it exciting none the less. It looks to everybody that your remarks are actually not entirely validated and in fact you are yourself not even completely confident of the assertion. In any event I did take pleasure in looking at it.
Respect to post author, some great entropy.
Hey very nice site!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds also…I’m happy to find numerous useful information here in the post, we need work out more techniques in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .
Hi there very nice web site!! Guy .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds also?KI’m satisfied to find numerous useful information here within the submit, we need develop more strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .
Magnificent site. A lot of helpful information here. I am sending it to several buddies ans additionally sharing in delicious. And certainly, thank you for your effort!