Get ready to score some laughs with these 70 hilarious jokes all about the exciting world of football (soccer in some regions). Whether you’re a football enthusiast or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to add some humor to your time on the pitch.
Jump to:
Table of Contents
Football Puns
Prepare for some goal-worthy humor with this collection of puns centered around football. Share these puns to spread the football joy and humor!
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the match? To “reach” new heights!
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of music? “Kick” and roll, of course!
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a bakery? He specializes in “header” rolls!
- How do football players greet each other on the pitch? With a “header” and a “tackle”!
- What’s a football player’s favorite fruit? “Penalty”-grapes.
- Why did the football player bring an umbrella to the match? In case of a “downpour.”
- How do football players apologize? They say, “Sorry, I was in a “free kick” mood.”
- What’s a football player’s favorite planet? “Futbol”-tus.
- Why did the football player bring a football to lunch? To “pass” the time.
- Why was the football player always in a good mood? Because he had a “field” of jokes!
Football One Liners
Enjoy these quick one-liners for some goal-tastic amusement. Share these jokes to add a touch of humor to your football matches.
- Football: where “kicks” become punchlines.
- I tried playing football once, but I’m not “goal-ted” for it.
- How do football players stay cool on the pitch? They sip on “penalty”mint tea.
- Football is like a ballet with a ball.
- Why did the football player bring a pen to the match? To “draw” up the tactics.
- Football is the art of strategy and teamwork.
- I told my friend I’m going to play football. They said, “That’s a “score” idea!”
- What’s a football player’s favorite Olympic sport? “Goal” vaulting.
- Football: where “corner kicks” and laughs are part of the game.
- Football: where “hat-tricks” are a way of life.
Best Football Jokes (Part 1)
Enjoy the first part of the best football jokes that are sure to make you smile. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to football-related humor!
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the championship match? To “climb” to victory!
- What do you call a football player who never gives up? “Un-stoppable.”
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a travel agency? They offer “cross” country vacations!
- How do football players say goodbye on the pitch? They “kick” you later!
- Why did the football player bring a picnic basket to the match? To “score” some delicious snacks.
- Football player’s favorite dance move? The “goal” shuffle.
- What’s a football player’s favorite dessert after a game? “Goal post” pie.
- Did you hear about the football player who started a pizza business? Their specialty is “corner kick” pies.
- Why did the football player bring a stopwatch to lunch? To “time” their meal.
- What’s a football player’s favorite time of day? “Kick-off”-clock!
Best Football Jokes (Part 2)
Enjoy the second part of the best football jokes that are sure to keep the laughter going. These jokes continue the fun-filled football humor!
- Why did the football player refuse to share their lucky football? They didn’t want to “lose their touch.”
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a laundry service? They wanted to “tackle” the competition.
- What’s a football player’s favorite part of football? The “goal” moment.
- How do football players practice for a big match? They “pass” it up.
- Why did the football coach go to the beach with sunscreen and a football? To work on their “sand football.”
- What did the football player say to the stressed-out newbie? “Let’s “defend” your worries and find your “flow.”
- Why was the football team always cool under pressure? Because they knew how to “field” with it.
- What’s a football player’s favorite kind of footwear? “Cleats.”
- Did you hear about the football player who became a gardener? He mastered the “pitch” for weeds.
- How do football players take their coffee? “With a side of “volleys.”
- Why was the football team always good at math? Because they knew how to use their “heads” in calculations.
- What do you call a football player’s favorite dessert? “Tackle”berry pie.
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the practice? To work on their “header” skills.
- How do football players stay warm in the winter? They huddle up for some “teamperature” control.
- Why did the football player bring a map to the match? To find the “goal” efficiently.
- What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A “striker” chef.
- Why did the football player go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
- What’s a football player’s favorite TV show? “Breaking Goal.”
- What do football players eat before a big game? “Tacko” Bell.
- How do football players stay fit? They “run the pitch.”
- Cartoon graphic of football players sharing a laugh on the pitch.
- Why did the football player bring a pencil to the game? To “draw” fouls.
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of seafood? “Penalty” shrimp.
- Why was the football player always calm under pressure? Because he had nerves of “steel”!
- What do you call a football player who can play a musical instrument? A “musical midfielder.”
- Why did the football player bring a backpack to the stadium? In case he needed a “sub-stitute.”
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of movie? “Goal”-digger films.
- Why did the football player bring a dictionary to the match? To understand all the “headers.”
- What do you call a football player’s favorite vegetable? “Header” lettuce.
- Why don’t football players ever become poets? Because they can’t stop “kicking” around ideas.
- How do football players measure success? With “goal”-ons and assists.
- Cartoon graphic of football players enjoying a laugh on the pitch.
- Why did the football player bring a backpack to the game? In case he needed to “tackle” some extra gear.
- What’s a football player’s favorite time of the day? “Kickoff” time!
- Why did the football player bring a hairbrush to practice? To “brush up” on his skills.
- What do football players do during a storm? They “weather” it out.
- Why did the football player become an artist? He had a natural talent for “draw”ing fouls.
- What’s a football player’s favorite book? “The Kicking Tree.”
- Why did the football player bring a suitcase to the stadium? In case he needed to “pack” a punch.
- What’s a football player’s favorite subject in school? “Soccer”-logy.
Final Thoughts
We hope these football jokes added some humor and excitement to your time on the pitch. If you’re still ready for more laughs, check out these other collections of jokes:
- Sports Humor Jokes
- Playful Puns for a Good Laugh
- Silly Jokes for Light-hearted Moments
Remember, sharing a good laugh is a great way to enjoy your football matches and connect with fellow players. Share these jokes with your football buddies for some goal-tastic enjoyment!
Very interesting info!Perfect just what I was looking for!
I am not sure where you are getting your information, but great topic. I must spend some time studying more or figuring out more. Thanks for excellent information I used to be searching for this information for my mission.
I am curious to find out what blog platform you are using? I’m experiencing some minor security problems with my latest website and I’d like to find something more risk-free. Do you have any recommendations?
An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is highly helpful for me. Big thumb up for this blog post!
Thank you for sharing with us, I conceive this website truly stands out : D.
This is so detailed! I feel much more confident about taking the next steps now. Do you plan on covering more related topics in future posts?
This is great! I’ve been following your blog for a while, and this post is one of the most helpful ones I’ve read. Keep it up!
I have been browsing on-line greater than three hours nowadays, but I by no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It is beautiful price enough for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made excellent content as you did, the internet will likely be a lot more useful than ever before.
Hey, you used to write magnificent, but the last few posts have been kinda boringK I miss your super writings. Past few posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!
Sweet website , super design and style, very clean and employ friendly.
Its wonderful as your other content : D, appreciate it for posting.
We’re a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with valuable info to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our whole community will be grateful to you.
This is very attention-grabbing, You are an overly professional blogger. I have joined your rss feed and stay up for in the hunt for extra of your great post. Additionally, I’ve shared your site in my social networks!
he blog was how do i say it… relevant, finally something that helped me. Thanks
I think this web site contains some very wonderful information for everyone. “To be able to be caught up into the world of thought — that is being educated.” by Edith Hamilton.
I got good info from your blog
I like this blog very much, Its a rattling nice position to read and obtain info . “Reason is not measured by size or height, but by principle.” by Epictetus.
Heya just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same results.
Whats Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely helpful and it has helped me out loads. I’m hoping to contribute & aid other customers like its helped me. Good job.
I really like your writing style, good information, thanks for putting up : D.
You made some good points there. I looked on the internet for the subject matter and found most individuals will consent with your site.
You made some nice points there. I looked on the internet for the subject matter and found most individuals will consent with your website.
I’m still learning from you, as I’m trying to achieve my goals. I certainly love reading everything that is posted on your site.Keep the aarticles coming. I enjoyed it!
Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is valuable and everything. Nevertheless just imagine if you added some great visuals or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with images and video clips, this site could certainly be one of the most beneficial in its niche. Very good blog!
You are my intake, I own few web logs and very sporadically run out from brand :). “Yet do I fear thy nature It is too full o’ the milk of human kindness.” by William Shakespeare.
I was curious if you ever considered changing the page layout of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?
This is so detailed! I feel much more confident about taking the next steps now. Do you plan on covering more related topics in future posts?
Thank you for sharing this! It’s clear you’ve put a lot of thought into the content. I’ve already started applying some of your suggestions.
I’d incessantly want to be update on new articles on this site, saved to favorites! .
I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back down the road. Many thanks
I think this is among the most vital information for me. And i am glad reading your article. But wanna remark on some general things, The site style is wonderful, the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers
I like what you guys are up too. Such intelligent work and reporting! Keep up the excellent works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my website 🙂
Very efficiently written information. It will be valuable to everyone who employess it, including me. Keep up the good work – can’r wait to read more posts.
Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thanks Nonetheless I am experiencing challenge with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting similar rss drawback? Anyone who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx
I was suggested this blog via my cousin. I’m now not certain whether this put up is written via him as nobody else realize such exact approximately my trouble. You’re amazing! Thank you!
Some genuinely superb articles on this site, thanks for contribution.
What’s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It positively helpful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & assist other users like its aided me. Good job.
You made certain fine points there. I did a search on the matter and found mainly persons will consent with your blog.
I wanted to make a note in order to appreciate you for all the pleasant tricks you are showing on this website. My long internet lookup has at the end of the day been compensated with really good concept to exchange with my two friends. I ‘d tell you that most of us website visitors are quite endowed to be in a fine network with so many awesome individuals with helpful guidelines. I feel very fortunate to have discovered your site and look forward to some more fabulous moments reading here. Thanks a lot once again for a lot of things.
Good – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, website theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task..
Nice post. I study one thing more difficult on completely different blogs everyday. It would at all times be stimulating to read content material from other writers and apply somewhat one thing from their store. I’d choose to make use of some with the content on my weblog whether or not you don’t mind. Natually I’ll offer you a hyperlink in your web blog. Thanks for sharing.
Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I’ll certainly return.
Very interesting details you have noted, thanks for putting up.
Needed to put you a little word to finally thank you yet again for these lovely information you have shown on this site. It is simply seriously generous of you in giving extensively what a lot of people would have supplied for an e book to earn some dough for themselves, most importantly considering that you could have done it in case you decided. The strategies likewise served to be the good way to recognize that someone else have the identical interest like my very own to understand a little more regarding this condition. I know there are several more enjoyable instances ahead for many who examine your website.
But a smiling visitant here to share the love (:, btw outstanding design. “Make the most of your regrets… . To regret deeply is to live afresh.” by Henry David Thoreau.