Get ready to score some laughs with these 70 hilarious jokes all about the exciting world of football (soccer in some regions). Whether you’re a football enthusiast or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to add some humor to your time on the pitch.
Jump to:
Table of Contents
Football Puns
Prepare for some goal-worthy humor with this collection of puns centered around football. Share these puns to spread the football joy and humor!
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the match? To “reach” new heights!
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of music? “Kick” and roll, of course!
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a bakery? He specializes in “header” rolls!
- How do football players greet each other on the pitch? With a “header” and a “tackle”!
- What’s a football player’s favorite fruit? “Penalty”-grapes.
- Why did the football player bring an umbrella to the match? In case of a “downpour.”
- How do football players apologize? They say, “Sorry, I was in a “free kick” mood.”
- What’s a football player’s favorite planet? “Futbol”-tus.
- Why did the football player bring a football to lunch? To “pass” the time.
- Why was the football player always in a good mood? Because he had a “field” of jokes!
Football One Liners
Enjoy these quick one-liners for some goal-tastic amusement. Share these jokes to add a touch of humor to your football matches.
- Football: where “kicks” become punchlines.
- I tried playing football once, but I’m not “goal-ted” for it.
- How do football players stay cool on the pitch? They sip on “penalty”mint tea.
- Football is like a ballet with a ball.
- Why did the football player bring a pen to the match? To “draw” up the tactics.
- Football is the art of strategy and teamwork.
- I told my friend I’m going to play football. They said, “That’s a “score” idea!”
- What’s a football player’s favorite Olympic sport? “Goal” vaulting.
- Football: where “corner kicks” and laughs are part of the game.
- Football: where “hat-tricks” are a way of life.
Best Football Jokes (Part 1)
Enjoy the first part of the best football jokes that are sure to make you smile. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to football-related humor!
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the championship match? To “climb” to victory!
- What do you call a football player who never gives up? “Un-stoppable.”
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a travel agency? They offer “cross” country vacations!
- How do football players say goodbye on the pitch? They “kick” you later!
- Why did the football player bring a picnic basket to the match? To “score” some delicious snacks.
- Football player’s favorite dance move? The “goal” shuffle.
- What’s a football player’s favorite dessert after a game? “Goal post” pie.
- Did you hear about the football player who started a pizza business? Their specialty is “corner kick” pies.
- Why did the football player bring a stopwatch to lunch? To “time” their meal.
- What’s a football player’s favorite time of day? “Kick-off”-clock!
Best Football Jokes (Part 2)
Enjoy the second part of the best football jokes that are sure to keep the laughter going. These jokes continue the fun-filled football humor!
- Why did the football player refuse to share their lucky football? They didn’t want to “lose their touch.”
- Did you hear about the football player who opened a laundry service? They wanted to “tackle” the competition.
- What’s a football player’s favorite part of football? The “goal” moment.
- How do football players practice for a big match? They “pass” it up.
- Why did the football coach go to the beach with sunscreen and a football? To work on their “sand football.”
- What did the football player say to the stressed-out newbie? “Let’s “defend” your worries and find your “flow.”
- Why was the football team always cool under pressure? Because they knew how to “field” with it.
- What’s a football player’s favorite kind of footwear? “Cleats.”
- Did you hear about the football player who became a gardener? He mastered the “pitch” for weeds.
- How do football players take their coffee? “With a side of “volleys.”
- Why was the football team always good at math? Because they knew how to use their “heads” in calculations.
- What do you call a football player’s favorite dessert? “Tackle”berry pie.
- Why did the football player bring a ladder to the practice? To work on their “header” skills.
- How do football players stay warm in the winter? They huddle up for some “teamperature” control.
- Why did the football player bring a map to the match? To find the “goal” efficiently.
- What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A “striker” chef.
- Why did the football player go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
- What’s a football player’s favorite TV show? “Breaking Goal.”
- What do football players eat before a big game? “Tacko” Bell.
- How do football players stay fit? They “run the pitch.”
- Cartoon graphic of football players sharing a laugh on the pitch.
- Why did the football player bring a pencil to the game? To “draw” fouls.
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of seafood? “Penalty” shrimp.
- Why was the football player always calm under pressure? Because he had nerves of “steel”!
- What do you call a football player who can play a musical instrument? A “musical midfielder.”
- Why did the football player bring a backpack to the stadium? In case he needed a “sub-stitute.”
- What’s a football player’s favorite type of movie? “Goal”-digger films.
- Why did the football player bring a dictionary to the match? To understand all the “headers.”
- What do you call a football player’s favorite vegetable? “Header” lettuce.
- Why don’t football players ever become poets? Because they can’t stop “kicking” around ideas.
- How do football players measure success? With “goal”-ons and assists.
- Cartoon graphic of football players enjoying a laugh on the pitch.
- Why did the football player bring a backpack to the game? In case he needed to “tackle” some extra gear.
- What’s a football player’s favorite time of the day? “Kickoff” time!
- Why did the football player bring a hairbrush to practice? To “brush up” on his skills.
- What do football players do during a storm? They “weather” it out.
- Why did the football player become an artist? He had a natural talent for “draw”ing fouls.
- What’s a football player’s favorite book? “The Kicking Tree.”
- Why did the football player bring a suitcase to the stadium? In case he needed to “pack” a punch.
- What’s a football player’s favorite subject in school? “Soccer”-logy.
Final Thoughts
We hope these football jokes added some humor and excitement to your time on the pitch. If you’re still ready for more laughs, check out these other collections of jokes:
- Sports Humor Jokes
- Playful Puns for a Good Laugh
- Silly Jokes for Light-hearted Moments
Remember, sharing a good laugh is a great way to enjoy your football matches and connect with fellow players. Share these jokes with your football buddies for some goal-tastic enjoyment!
I believe you have mentioned some very interesting points, thanks for the post.
Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive learn something like this before. So nice to search out any person with some authentic ideas on this subject. realy thanks for beginning this up. this web site is one thing that is wanted on the net, somebody with a little originality. helpful job for bringing something new to the web!
fantastic issues altogether, you just received a brand new reader. What might you recommend about your submit that you made some days ago? Any sure?
After all, what a great site and informative posts, I will upload inbound link – bookmark this web site? Regards, Reader.
I got what you intend, thanks for putting up.Woh I am delighted to find this website through google. “The test and use of a man’s education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind.” by Carl Barzun.
I am always searching online for tips that can help me. Thank you!
I think this web site holds some really good info for everyone :D. “As ill-luck would have it.” by Miguel de Cervantes.
Precisely what I was looking for, regards for putting up.
I like what you guys are up also. Such smart work and reporting! Carry on the excellent works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my website :).
I couldn’t resist commenting
I’ve been browsing online greater than three hours these days, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It¦s lovely value enough for me. In my opinion, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net can be a lot more helpful than ever before.
magnificent post, very informative. I ponder why the opposite experts of this sector don’t notice this. You must continue your writing. I am confident, you have a huge readers’ base already!
I simply could not go away your site prior to suggesting that I really loved the usual information a person supply in your visitors? Is gonna be back ceaselessly to check up on new posts.
Thanks so much for giving everyone remarkably spectacular chance to read articles and blog posts from here. It can be so terrific and as well , jam-packed with fun for me and my office peers to search the blog not less than thrice in one week to find out the new things you have got. And of course, I am just actually satisfied with your great opinions served by you. Some 4 ideas in this article are certainly the most suitable we have all ever had.
Utterly written content material, regards for information. “Life is God’s novel. Let him write it.” by Isaac Bashevis Singer.
I like this weblog so much, saved to bookmarks. “I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.” by Dorothy Parker.
I have been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this website. Thank you, I?¦ll try and check back more often. How frequently you update your website?
I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back later on. Cheers
Hello, i think that i saw you visited my web site so i came to “return the favor”.I’m trying to find things to enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!
I’ve been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this website. Thank you, I will try and check back more often. How frequently you update your site?
My brother recommended I might like this blog. He was totally right. This post actually made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!
The subsequent time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I imply, I do know it was my choice to read, but I really thought youd have one thing fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you may fix should you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.
hi!,I like your writing very much! percentage we keep in touch more approximately your post on AOL? I need an expert in this house to unravel my problem. Maybe that’s you! Looking forward to see you.
I like this post, enjoyed this one regards for posting.
I really enjoy studying on this site, it has great blog posts. “One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.” by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.
I am glad for commenting to let you understand of the fabulous experience my friend’s daughter encountered visiting your web site. She figured out numerous issues, with the inclusion of how it is like to possess an excellent giving heart to have men and women very easily know precisely a number of very confusing things. You truly surpassed visitors’ desires. Thanks for supplying these valuable, trustworthy, educational and even unique guidance on that topic to Janet.
Useful info. Lucky me I found your web site by accident, and I’m stunned why this accident did not happened in advance! I bookmarked it.
Do you have a spam problem on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; many of us have created some nice procedures and we are looking to trade methods with others, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.
Excellent post however , I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this topic? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Many thanks!
Simply wish to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity for your post is just spectacular and that i can suppose you are a professional in this subject. Well along with your permission let me to grasp your RSS feed to keep up to date with approaching post. Thank you one million and please keep up the gratifying work.
Whats up very nice blog!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your web site and take the feeds also…I am glad to seek out numerous useful information right here in the publish, we’d like develop more strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .
You are my inspiration , I own few web logs and infrequently run out from to post .
Valuable information. Lucky me I found your web site by accident, and I’m shocked why this accident didn’t happened earlier! I bookmarked it.
Its excellent as your other posts : D, thanks for putting up. “If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be–a christian.” by Mark Twain.
I was looking at some of your content on this internet site and I conceive this web site is real informative! Keep putting up.
I haven?¦t checked in here for some time because I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are good quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
I went over this internet site and I believe you have a lot of fantastic information, saved to fav (:.
I keep listening to the news bulletin speak about receiving boundless online grant applications so I have been looking around for the top site to get one. Could you advise me please, where could i get some?
As I site possessor I believe the content material here is rattling wonderful , appreciate it for your hard work. You should keep it up forever! Good Luck.
hello!,I like your writing so much! share we keep up a correspondence extra about your post on AOL? I need an expert on this space to resolve my problem. May be that’s you! Taking a look forward to see you.
Great write-up, I’m regular visitor of one’s site, maintain up the excellent operate, and It is going to be a regular visitor for a lengthy time.
I think you have mentioned some very interesting details, appreciate it for the post.
You made some respectable factors there. I seemed on the internet for the difficulty and located most people will go along with along with your website.
Hello! I’ve been following your web site for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Lubbock Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the fantastic work!
Howdy! I just want to give an enormous thumbs up for the great information you’ve right here on this post. I will likely be coming back to your blog for extra soon.