70 Funny Jokes About Knives

Slice through the laughter with these 70 hilarious jokes all about knives. Whether you’re a chef or just looking for a good chuckle, these jokes are sure to cut to the chase.

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Knife Puns

Sharpen your sense of humor with this collection of puns centered around knives. Share these puns to spread the cutting-edge humor!

Why did the knife break up with the fork? It felt like they were always “cutlery-clashing.”
What do you call a knife that tells jokes? A “sharp” wit!
Did you hear about the knife that started a band? It was great at “cutting” solos.
How do you compliment a well-crafted knife? “You’re really ‘cutting’ it!”
What’s a knife’s favorite type of music? “Rock and roll,” of course!
Why did the knife apply for a job as a chef’s assistant? It wanted to be part of the “cutting-edge” team.
How do knives greet each other? “We make quite the ‘slice’ together!”
What did the one knife say to the other during a culinary disagreement? “Let’s ‘knife’ down some differences!”
How do knives apologize? They “carve out” an apology.
What’s a knife’s favorite game? “Hide and ‘slice’,” of course!

Knife One Liners

Enjoy these quick one-liners for some knife-themed amusement. Share these jokes for a dose of sharp humor and fun.

Knives never lose their edge; they’re always ready to cut.
Why do knives make terrible comedians? They can’t “handle” the pressure to perform.
I told a knife joke, but it didn’t “cut” it with the audience.
What did one knife say to the other during a disagreement? “Let’s find a ‘sharp’ compromise!”
Knives always tell the best stories; they’re full of “cutting” tales.
Did you hear about the knife that went to comedy school? It wanted to “cut” up with humor.
How do knives always stay positive? They’re always “sharp” and ready.
Why did the knife refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to risk being “shuffled”!
What’s a knife’s favorite sport? “Knife-athlon” at the Olympics!
Did you hear about the knives that went on strike? They weren’t “cutting” it anymore.

Best Knife Jokes (Part 1)

Enjoy the first part of the best knife jokes that are sure to make you smile. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to knife-related humor!

Why did the knife win an award? It had a “cut-above” performance!
What’s a knife’s favorite place? The “cutting board,” of course!
Did you hear about the knife that wrote a book? It had some “knife-edge” stories.
How do knives communicate? They “slice” through conversations!
Why did the chef’s knife apply for a job at the restaurant? It wanted to be the “chef’s right hand.”
Knives are great at solving problems; they always “carve out” solutions.
What’s a knife’s favorite dance? The “cut-and-twirl.”
Did you hear about the knife that won a contest? It was “knife-tastic.”
How do knives keep up with the latest fashion trends? They “blade” style advice.
Why did the knife start a YouTube channel? It wanted to share its “cutting-edge” ideas.

Best Knife Jokes (Part 2)

Enjoy the second part of the best knife jokes that are sure to keep the laughter sharp. These jokes continue the fun-filled slicing!

Why did the knife have a hard time in school? It was always “cutting” class.
What’s a knife’s favorite place to vacation? “Knife-ribbean”!
Did you hear about the knife that became a fashion model? It was a real “cutting-edge” on the runway.
How do knives always stay ahead of the curve? They’re “ahead of the ‘blade.’”
Knives are great motivational speakers; they’re always “sharpening” minds!
What did the one knife say to the other after a long day of slicing and dicing? “Let’s ‘knife-off’ some steam!”
Knives are great at networking; they always “carve out” connections.
Did you hear about the knife that won a race? It had a “knife-tastic” finish!
How do knives keep their secrets safe? They’re always “sharp” and silent.
Why did the knife turn red? It was all “knife-cited”!
Why did the knife become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to prove it had a “point.”
What did one knife say to the other at the gym? “Let’s cut to the chase and work on our abs.”
Did you hear about the knife that loved to dance? It was always in “knife-step.”
How do knives throw parties? They “cut” a rug on the dance floor.
What did the knife say to the cutting board? “I’m really ‘board’ of this job.”
Why did the knife bring a towel to the picnic? It wanted to have a “blade” in the shade.
What’s a knife’s favorite genre of music? “Sharp” notes!
Did you hear about the knife that became a motivational speaker? It knew how to “slice” through self-doubt.
Why did the knife break up with the spoon? It felt like they were in a “stir-ring” relationship.
What’s a knife’s favorite sport? “Knife-ball,” where they score by “cutting” to the basket.
Did you hear about the knife that won a talent show? It had a “cutting-edge” performance.
Why did the knife get a ticket while driving? It was caught “cutting” corners.
What did the knife say to the tomato at the salad bar? “Lettuce ‘ketchup’ soon.”
Why do knives make great detectives? They always have a “sharp” eye for detail.
How do knives tell secrets? They whisper them “quietly.”
What did the knife say to the bread? “You’re the best thing since sliced bread!”
Why did the knife go to the art museum? It wanted to see some “cutting-edge” art.
What’s a knife’s favorite board game? “Blade Runner.”
Did you hear about the knife that went to the doctor? It had a case of “sharp pain.”
How do knives handle conflicts? They “cut” through the issues.
What did the knife say to the fork during dinner? “Let’s stick together!”
Why did the knife go to therapy? It had trouble “cutting” to the heart of the matter.
What’s a knife’s favorite dessert? “Slice” cream pie!
Did you hear about the knife that started a gardening business? It was great at “cutting” grass.
How do knives stay cool in the summer? They find some “shade.”
What did the knife say to the cheese? “You’re ‘grate’ company!”
Why did the knife take a vacation to the Alps? It wanted to see some “peak” cutting skills.
What do knives do for fun on the weekend? They go to the “blade” park.
How did the knife propose to the fork? With a “cutting-edge” diamond ring.
Why did the knife get a promotion at work? It was known for “cutting” costs efficiently.

Final Thoughts

We hope these knife jokes cut through the seriousness with humor and fun. If you’re still ready for more laughs, check out these other collections of jokes: