75 Funny Jokes About Rulers

Get ready to measure up some laughter with 75 hilarious jokes all about rulers. Whether you’re a math enthusiast or just looking for a good chuckle, these ruler jokes are sure to rule your sense of humor.

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Ruler Puns (Part 1)

Let’s “measure up” some humor with this collection of puns centered around rulers. Share these puns to add a touch of measurement fun to your day!

Why did the ruler enroll in a yoga class? To learn how to “measure” up to flexibility!
Did you hear about the ruler that started a rock band? It knew how to “inch” to the beat.
How do you compliment a well-behaved ruler? “You’re so ‘straight’ to the point!”
What’s a ruler’s favorite type of music? “Ruler”-tastic rock ‘n’ roll!
Why did the ruler receive an award? Because it was “inch”-credibly precise!
How do you make a ruler smile? Give it a “metric” ton of laughter.
Did you hear about the ruler that went to therapy? It had too many “measurement” issues.
How do you know a ruler is great at storytelling? It “lengthens” every tale!
What did the ruler say to the pencil during a drawing session? “Let’s ‘draw’ some lines together!”
What’s a ruler’s favorite movie genre? “Straight-up” action films!

Ruler One Liners (Part 1)

Enjoy these quick one-liners for some measurement-themed amusement. Share these jokes to add a touch of precision humor to your day.

Rulers are like silent guides; they help us stay on the “straight and narrow.”
Why don’t rulers ever get lost? Because they always “measure” their steps.
I tried to tell a ruler joke, but it didn’t have any “length.”
What did one ruler say to the other during a math class? “We’re in for some ‘metric’ calculations.”
Rulers are great at “measuring up” to the task.
Did you hear about the ruler that went on vacation? It had a “linear” adventure.
How do rulers always stay positive? They have a “level” head.
Why did the ruler refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to risk getting “straight-flushed”!
What’s a ruler’s favorite game? “Hide and ‘measure.’”
Did you hear about the ruler that wrote a book? It had a “lengthy” story to tell.

Best Ruler Jokes (Part 1)

These top-notch ruler jokes are sure to make you smile. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to measurement humor!

Why do rulers make great detectives? They always “measure” up to solving mysteries.
What’s a ruler’s favorite place? The “inch”anted forest.
Did you hear about the ruler that started a podcast? It’s excellent at “measuring” up great interviews.
How do rulers communicate? They “inch” their messages to each other.
Why did the ruler apply for a job at the construction site? It wanted to be part of the “level-headed” team.
Rulers are great at keeping secrets; they’re “length”ened with trust.
What’s a ruler’s favorite dance? The “ruler”coaster twist.
Did you hear about the ruler that won an award? It was “measure”-ific.
How do rulers stay up to date with the latest news? They “lengthen” their knowledge.
Why did the ruler start a YouTube channel? It wanted to share its “measure”-mentary.

Ruler Puns (Part 2)

How did the ruler enjoy its vacation? It had a “lengthy” time exploring new places!
Did you hear about the ruler that became a stand-up comedian? It had “inch”-credible jokes!
Why did the ruler take up gardening? It wanted to learn about “root” measurements!
How do rulers greet each other at school? With a “straight” face, of course!
What did one ruler say to the other during a design class? “We’re ‘line’-ing up for creativity!”
Why did the ruler become a chef? It was an expert in “precise-sion” cooking!
How do rulers always stay on track? They “draw” their own path!
What did the ruler say during the music concert? “This performance is ‘measure’-less!”
Did you hear about the ruler that started a fashion line? It was all about “stylish inches”!
Why don’t rulers ever get tired of their job? Because they always “rule” the situation!

Ruler One Liners (Part 2)

Rulers are like math’s best friends; they’re always there to provide guidance.
Why don’t rulers ever go to parties alone? They always bring “length” with them.
I tried to tell a ruler joke, but it got “measured” and approved!
What did one ruler say to the other during a geometry class? “We’re in for some ‘angle’-solving!”
Rulers are great at “measuring up” to expectations.
Did you hear about the ruler that went on a worldwide tour? It was known as the “globe-trotting ruler.”
How do rulers handle their finances? They “draw” up budgets wisely.
What’s a ruler’s favorite game? “Line up the numbers”!
Did you hear about the ruler that wrote a bestselling novel? It had “lengthy” chapters.
Why did the ruler get a job at the construction site? It loved to “measure” up the world!

Best Ruler Jokes (Part 2)

What did the ruler say to the pencil during a drawing contest? “We make the ‘perfect’ team.”
Why do rulers make great musicians? They’re “instrumental” in creating melodies.
What’s a ruler’s favorite winter activity? “Ruler”-skiing!
How do rulers always stay positive? They have a “straight”forward outlook on life.
Did you hear about the ruler that won a geometry competition? It had “angle”-ificant skills.
Why do rulers love art class? Because they get to “draw” their own conclusions!
How do rulers send secret messages? They “measure” their words carefully.
What did the ruler say to the eraser during a test? “Thanks for being my ‘backup,’ buddy!”
Did you hear about the ruler that started a science blog? It had “lengthy” explanations to share.
Why do rulers always have a great sense of humor? Because they’re “measuredly” funny!
What did one ruler say to the other during a construction project? “We’re ‘lengthening’ our career in style!”
Why did the ruler get a role in a movie? Because it had “lead” role potential!
How do rulers stay calm under pressure? They “inch” their way to success.
What did the ruler say to the pencil during a drawing session? “Together, we create ‘line’-credible art!”
Did you hear about the ruler that joined a band? It played the “straight-edge” guitar.
Why don’t rulers ever gamble? Because they know the “measured” risks!
How do rulers keep their relationships strong? They “rule” with love and understanding.
What did the ruler say during a race against a tape measure? “I’m ‘centimeter’ away from victory!”
Did you hear about the ruler that won a dance competition? It had the “smoothest moves.”
Why do rulers make great motivational speakers? Because they know how to “lengthen” your stride!
How do rulers stay in shape? They do “line dancing” for exercise.
What did one ruler say to the other at the library? “We’re ‘book’-ing some quality reading time!”
Did you hear about the ruler that became a stand-up comedian? It always had “measure”-less jokes!
How do rulers measure their level of success? With “inch” increments, of course!
Why don’t rulers ever break up with their partners? Because they believe in “lengthy” relationships!

Final Thoughts

We hope these ruler jokes measured up to your expectations and provided a good laugh. If you’re still in the mood for more laughs, check out these other collections of jokes: