Tick-tock your way to laughter with these 85 hilarious jokes all about clocks. Whether you’re a horologist or just looking for a good chuckle, these jokes are sure to make your day tick with humor.
Jump to:
Table of Contents
Clock Puns
Wind up your sense of humor with this collection of puns centered around clocks. Share these puns to spread the timely humor!
- Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It felt like their relationship was too “date”-oriented.
- What do you call a clock that tells jokes? A “timely” wit!
- Did you hear about the clock that started a band? It was great at “keeping time.”
- How do you compliment a well-crafted clock? “You’re really ‘hour’-ganized!”
- What’s a clock’s favorite type of music? “Rock and roll,” of course!
- Why did the clock apply for a job as a timekeeper? It wanted to be part of the “time”-honored team.
- How do clocks greet each other? “We make quite the ‘minute’ together!”
- What did the one clock say to the other during a time dispute? “Let’s ‘hour’-monize our schedules!”
- How do clocks apologize? They “turn back” and say sorry.
- What’s a clock’s favorite game? “Hide and ‘tik-tok’,” of course!
Clock One Liners
Enjoy these quick one-liners for some clock-themed amusement. Share these jokes for a dose of timely humor and fun.
- Clocks never lose their edge; they’re always “second” to none.
- Why do clocks make terrible comedians? They can’t “hour”-dle the jokes.
- I told a clock joke, but it didn’t “tick” with the audience.
- What did one clock say to the other during a disagreement? “Let’s find a ‘minute’ compromise!”
- Clocks always tell the best stories; they’re full of “time”-travel tales.
- Did you hear about the clock that went to comedy school? It wanted to “hour”-bor humor.
- How do clocks always stay positive? They’re always “up” and running.
- Why did the clock refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to risk being “wound” up!
- What’s a clock’s favorite sport? “Clock-in-ball” at the Olympics!
- Did you hear about the clocks that went on strike? They weren’t “ticking” anymore.
Best Clock Jokes (Part 1)
Enjoy the first part of the best clock jokes that are sure to make you smile. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to clock-related humor!
- Why did the clock win an award? It had a “timely” performance!
- What’s a clock’s favorite place? The “face” of the clock, of course!
- Did you hear about the clock that wrote a book? It had some “hour-iginal” stories.
- How do clocks communicate? They “face” the conversation!
- Why did the grandfather clock apply for a job at the antique shop? It wanted to be the “grand” timepiece.
- Clocks are great at solving problems; they always “tick” away at solutions.
- What’s a clock’s favorite dance? The “tic-and-tock.”
- Did you hear about the clock that won a contest? It was “clock-tastic.”
- How do clocks keep up with the latest fashion trends? They “watch” style advice.
- Why did the clock start a YouTube channel? It wanted to share its “timely” ideas.
Best Clock Jokes (Part 2)
Enjoy the second part of the best clock jokes that are sure to keep the laughter timely. These jokes continue the fun-filled ticking!
- Why did the clock have a hard time in school? It was always “running” late.
- What’s a clock’s favorite place to vacation? “Watchington D.C.”!
- Did you hear about the clock that became a fashion model? It was a real “trend-setter” on the runway.
- How do clocks always stay ahead of the curve? They’re “ahead of the ‘hands.’”
- Clocks are great motivational speakers; they’re always “winding” up minds!
- What did the one clock say to the other after a long day of ticking? “Let’s ‘hour’ it down!”
- Clocks are great at networking; they always “set up” conversations.
- Did you hear about the clock that won a race? It had a “second-to-none” finish!
- How do clocks keep their secrets safe? They’re always “wound” up.
- Why did the clock turn red? It was all “clock-cited”!
- What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
- Why did the digital clock break up with the analog clock? It couldn’t stand its “handsy” nature.
- Did you hear about the clock that won the marathon? It really “paced” itself.
- How do clocks resolve conflicts? They “talk it out” in a timely manner.
- Why did the clock always get invited to parties? It knew how to “count down” to the fun.
- Did you hear about the clock that became a DJ? It knew how to drop the “beats” on time.
- How do clocks stay in shape? They do “tic-toc-cises” every day.
- What’s a clock’s favorite place to travel? “Switzerland,” where all the clocks are made.
- Why did the clock get a promotion at work? It had “second-to-none” time management skills.
- What did the clock say to the sleepy watch? “Wake up, you’re ‘second’ to none!”
- Did you hear about the clock that took up painting? It could create “timeless” art.
- What’s a clock’s favorite season? “Spring,” because it’s all about new beginnings.
- Why did the clock apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to “spend more time” with pastries.
- How do you throw a clock party? “You ‘hour’ it!”
- What’s a clock’s favorite hobby? “Second-guessing.”
- Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It couldn’t keep its “hands” off the books.
- Did you hear about the clock that went to therapy? It had issues with “ticking” anxiously.
- How do you fix a broken clock? With “second” thoughts.
- Why did the clock break up with the stopwatch? It was tired of being “rushed.”
- What’s a clock’s favorite movie genre? “Time travel” adventures.
- Did you hear about the clock that started a detective agency? It was great at “timing” investigations.
- How do clocks apologize? They “make amends” by setting things right.
- What’s a clock’s favorite kind of party? A “grandfather clock” party!
- Why did the clock take up gardening? It wanted to “grow” its skills.
- Did you hear about the clock that became a motivational speaker? It knew how to “set goals” on time.
- How do clocks stay cool during summer? They “stay in the shade.”
- Why did the clock join the soccer team? It wanted to be the “center forward.”
- What’s a clock’s favorite sport? “Basket-tick-ball.”
- Did you hear about the clock that wrote a song? It had some “timely” lyrics.
- Why do clocks always have a “second” chance? Because they’re forgiving!
- What’s a clock’s favorite meal of the day? “Lunch time.”
- Why did the clock go to school? It wanted to “learn” how to “keep time.”
- Did you hear about the clock that became a baker? It made “watch” cookies.
- How do clocks settle disagreements? They “strike a balance.”
- What’s a clock’s favorite exercise? “Time jumping.”
- Why do clocks make great comedians? They always have “punchlines.”
- What do you call a clock that’s always late? “Behind the times.”
- Did you hear about the clock that went to space? It had a “blast off” time.
- How do clocks keep their skin looking young? They use “anti-aging cream.”
- Why did the clock get a promotion at work? It was “timely” and reliable.
- What’s a clock’s favorite type of weather? “Sunny and ‘time’ly.”
- Did you hear about the clock that became a teacher? It had great “timing” skills.
- How do clocks relax? They “wind down.”
- What’s a clock’s favorite TV show? “Prime time” programs.
- Why did the clock go to therapy? It had issues with “tick-tension.”
Final Thoughts
We hope these clock jokes made your day tick with laughter. If you’re still ready for more humor, check out these other collections of jokes:
- Watchmaker and Timepiece Humor Jokes
- Playful Puns for a Good Laugh
- Silly Jokes for Light-hearted Moments
Remember, sharing a good laugh is a wonderful way to connect with others. Share these jokes with friends and family for some timely enjoyment!
I like what you guys are up too. Such smart work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I¦ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my site 🙂
I would like to thnkx for the efforts you have put in writing this site. I am hoping the same high-grade site post from you in the upcoming as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own web site now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings fast. Your write up is a great example of it.
Very efficiently written article. It will be valuable to everyone who usess it, including me. Keep up the good work – looking forward to more posts.
fantastic points altogether, you just gained a brand new reader. What would you recommend about your post that you made some days ago? Any positive?
I was very happy to search out this internet-site.I needed to thanks to your time for this wonderful learn!! I undoubtedly having fun with each little little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you weblog post.
Hi would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m looking to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a tough time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!
I really like looking at and I believe this website got some really useful stuff on it! .
Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting fed up of Wordpress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be fantastic if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.
I have recently started a web site, the info you offer on this site has helped me greatly. Thank you for all of your time & work. “So full of artless jealousy is guilt, It spills itself in fearing to be spilt.” by William Shakespeare.
Valuable info. Lucky me I found your web site by accident, and I am shocked why this accident didn’t happened earlier! I bookmarked it.
I am glad to be one of several visitors on this great internet site (:, appreciate it for putting up.
Nice post. I learn something more challenging on different blogs everyday. It will always be stimulating to read content from other writers and practice a little something from their store. I’d prefer to use some with the content on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll give you a link on your web blog. Thanks for sharing.
You have brought up a very fantastic points, thanks for the post.
This internet site is my inhalation, really great layout and perfect subject matter.
This design is incredible! You definitely know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!
I have been browsing online greater than three hours today, but I by no means discovered any interesting article like yours. It is pretty value sufficient for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made just right content material as you probably did, the net will be much more helpful than ever before. “Wherever they burn books, they will also, in the end, burn people.” by Heinrich Heine.
F*ckin’ amazing things here. I am very satisfied to peer your article. Thank you so much and i’m looking forward to contact you. Will you kindly drop me a mail?
I have not checked in here for a while as I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
I haven’t checked in here for some time as I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s hard to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual appearance. I must say that you’ve done a fantastic job with this. In addition, the blog loads super fast for me on Chrome. Excellent Blog!
I truly appreciate this post. I’ve been looking all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thank you again!
I haven¦t checked in here for a while as I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are good quality so I guess I¦ll add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
It?¦s really a nice and helpful piece of information. I am glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.
Hello. Great job. I did not imagine this. This is a excellent story. Thanks!
I am lucky that I detected this web blog, exactly the right information that I was looking for! .
I?¦m not positive the place you are getting your information, however great topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or figuring out more. Thank you for great information I used to be on the lookout for this information for my mission.
Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!
Together with everything that seems to be building throughout this particular subject matter, many of your viewpoints are relatively exciting. However, I am sorry, because I can not subscribe to your entire plan, all be it radical none the less. It would seem to everyone that your remarks are not entirely justified and in actuality you are generally yourself not totally convinced of the argument. In any case I did appreciate reading it.
Sugar Defender is a dietary supplement designed to promote and maintain healthy blood sugar levels naturally. It is formulated for individuals aiming to support their metabolic health and reduce the impact of blood sugar spikes caused by diet or lifestyle choices.
I’ll right away grab your rss feed as I can not in finding your email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly permit me recognise in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.
Thanks a lot for sharing this with all of us you actually know what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Kindly also visit my website =). We could have a link exchange agreement between us!
Nagano Lean Body Tonic is a dietary supplement developed to support healthy weight management, improve metabolism, and promote overall wellness.
Good info and straight to the point. I am not sure if this is actually the best place to ask but do you guys have any thoughts on where to hire some professional writers? Thx 🙂
you have a great blog here! would you like to make some invite posts on my blog?
Good ?V I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your website. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well as related information ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, web site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Excellent task..
I?¦ll immediately grab your rss as I can’t in finding your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly allow me realize so that I may subscribe. Thanks.
Mitolyn is a cutting-edge natural dietary supplement designed to support effective weight loss and improve overall wellness.
Sweet blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Cheers
I have recently started a website, the information you provide on this web site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.
I like what you guys are up also. Such intelligent work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my web site :).
I don’t even know how I finished up here, however I thought this submit was once good. I do not understand who you might be however certainly you’re going to a well-known blogger should you are not already 😉 Cheers!
I will immediately grasp your rss feed as I can’t to find your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Please let me recognize in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.
What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It positively useful and it has helped me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & assist other customers like its helped me. Good job.
Wonderful beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me a appropriate deal. I were tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast provided brilliant transparent idea
Hmm it seems like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any tips and hints for first-time blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.
Thanks for another informative web site. Where else may I am getting that kind of info written in such an ideal method? I’ve a venture that I’m just now working on, and I’ve been at the look out for such info.
I got what you mean , appreciate it for putting up.Woh I am delighted to find this website through google.
I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out proper here. The caricature is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. nevertheless, you command get got an shakiness over that you want be turning in the following. sick undoubtedly come more formerly once more as precisely the similar just about a lot steadily within case you protect this hike.
As I website owner I conceive the content material here is very superb, thanks for your efforts.