From Cringe to Chuckle: The Ultimate Collection of 140 Corny Jokes

Yo, what’s crackin’, joke enthusiasts?.

We’ve scoured the depths of dad humor, kids’ giggles, and adult chuckles to bring you this epic compilation of corny jokes that’ll have you rolling your eyes so hard, you might just see your brain.

Let’s dive into this cornucopia of cringe!

Best Corny Jokes

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
4. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
6. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
7. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems!
8. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
10. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

Corny Jokes One-Liners

1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
2. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
3. A backward poet writes inverse.
4. Velcro—what a rip-off!
5. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
6. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
7. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
8. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
9. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
10. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Funny Jokes for Kids

1. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
2. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly!
3. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!
4. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
6. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
7. What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
8. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
9. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!
10. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!

Corny Jokes for Adults

1. I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.
2. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
3. What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.
4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
5. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
7. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
8. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
9. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
10. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems!

Dad Jokes

1. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
2. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
3. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!
4. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.
5. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
6. Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
7. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
8. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.
9. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
10. I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

Funny Jokes for Adults

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
4. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
6. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
7. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems!
8. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
10. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

1. What did the horse say after it tripped? Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
2. What do you call a well-balanced horse? Stable.
3. What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.
4. Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
5. How do you make an egg-roll? You push it!
6. What would bears be without bees? Ears.
7. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.
8. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
9. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
10. What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
11. RIP, boiling water. You will be mist.
12. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
13. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.
14. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!
15. What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
16. What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
17. What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.
18. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
19. What does corn say when it gets a compliment? Aw, shucks!
20. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
21. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
22. What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.
23. Why was the fish’s grades bad? They were below sea level.
24. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
25. What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.
26. Why shouldn’t you use a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
27. What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop.
28. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
29. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
30. Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he’s always lion.
31. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.
32. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
33. Why are pirates called pirates? They just ARRRR!
34. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
35. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
36. What do cows read the most? Cattle-logs.
37. What do clouds wear under their shorts? Thunder pants!
38. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
39. What did 0 say to 8? “Nice belt.”
40. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
41. What did the lettuce say to the celery? Quit stalking me!
42. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they are such fungis.
43. Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears.
44. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
45. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
46. Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants.
47. Where does the general put his armies? In his sleevies.
48. What do you call a magician that looses his magic? Ian.
49. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
50. How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.
51. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
52. Why did the kid stock up on yeast? He wanted to make some dough.
53. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
54. What did the cake say to the fork? You want a piece of me?
55. How did the two cats end their fight? They hissed and made up.
56. Why did the strawberry cry? He found himself in a jam.
57. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crumby.
58. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
59. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
60. Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words!

Short Corny Jokes for Adults

1. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
2. A backward poet writes inverse.
3. Velcro—what a rip-off!
4. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
5. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
6. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
7. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
8. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
9. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
10. I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.

Seriously Funny Jokes

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
4. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
6. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
7. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems!
8. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
10. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

Well, there you have it, folks! A smorgasbord of side-splitting, eye-rolling, groan-inducing jokes that’ll make you the life of any party (or the reason people leave early, we’re not judging). Remember, laughter is the best medicine, unless you’re dying of laughter, in which case you might need actual medicine. Now go forth and spread the corniness like it’s your job. Peace out, joke warriors! 🎤💥

For more hilarious content, check out jokes on various topics like butt jokes, knee jokes, and nose puns. Whether it’s about ears, burgers, or even diarrhea, you’ll find the funniest puns and jokes here!