New Years Jokes: 40 Hilarious Jokes to Kick Off Your Celebrations

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As the New Year approaches, it’s time to leave behind the old and welcome the new with a hearty laugh. Whether you’re hosting a New Year’s Eve party or just sharing a quiet evening with family, these 40 New Years jokes are sure to bring a smile to everyone’s face. Get ready to giggle your way into the New Year!

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Best New Year’s Jokes

1. Why did the New Year go to school?

To get a little more “resolution”!

2. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?

Moo Year’s Eve.

3. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?

He got 12 months!

4. Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?

To start off the New Year in a “cool” way.

5. What’s a ghost’s favorite New Year’s resolution?

To be more “spirited.”

6. How did the New Year catch the thief?

It “rang” in the new evidence.

7. What’s a firework’s favorite kind of music?

Pop!

8. What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?

I haven’t seen you since last year!

9. Why did the New Year’s Eve party go on strike?

It wanted more “sparklers.”

10. How does a snowman celebrate New Year’s?

By chilling out.

11. What’s the problem with New Year’s jokes?

The good ones are all about “timing.”

12. Why did the chicken cross the road on New Year’s Eve?

To start the New Year on the “right” side.

13. What’s the New Year’s favorite fruit?

The “new” peach.

14. What did the digital clock say to its mom?

Look, Ma, no hands!

15. Why was 6 afraid of New Year’s Eve?

Because 7, 8, 9… and 10!

16. What did the New Year say to the old year?

I’m your “replacement.”

17. What’s the favorite dance of the New Year’s clock?

The “tick-tock” tango.

18. What do you call a snowman party on New Year’s Eve?

A “Snow-ball.”

19. Why was the calendar so proud at the end of the year?

It had its days numbered.

20. How do you catch a squirrel for your New Year’s party?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

21. What do cats call New Year’s Eve?

Mew Year’s Eve.

22. Why did the man keep doing jumping jacks on New Year’s Eve?

He wanted to “spring” into the New Year.

23. What’s the New Year’s favorite snack?

“Chips” off the old block.

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24. Why do programmers love New Year’s Eve?

Because they enjoy “coding” into the night.

25. What’s a New Year’s resolution for a basketball player?

To “score” more points.

26. What did the New Year say to the faulty clock?

Your time’s up!

27. Why was the math book excited for New Year’s?

It had a lot of “problems” to solve.

28. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward?

A receding “hare-line” for the New Year!

29. Why don’t oysters donate to charity on New Year’s Eve?

Because they are shellfish.

To “chill” more.

31. What do you call a New Year’s Eve without fireworks?

A “fizzle” instead of a sizzle.

32. What’s a vampire’s New Year’s resolution?

To “fang” out more.

33. Why don’t some couples go out on New Year’s Eve?

They can’t stand the “end-of-year” pressure.

34. What’s a dog’s New Year’s resolution?

To bark less and wag more.

35. What do you call a New Year’s resolution made at a bar?

A “brew”-year’s resolution.

36. What did Father Time say to Baby New Year?

“Don’t call me old!”

37. Why are New Year’s jokes so predictable?

They always “countdown” to the punchline.

38. What’s a librarian’s favorite New Year’s activity?

Reading the “fine print” on resolutions.

39. What did the New Year’s Eve party say to the guest who was leaving early?

“Yule” miss the ball drop!

40. Why do people make New Year’s resolutions?

To give up what they didn’t want anyway!

As you ring in the New Year, remember that laughter is the best way to start fresh. Share these jokes with your loved ones and spread the joy. Here’s to a year full of smiles, happiness, and lots of laughter. Happy New Year! 🎉

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About Me

Hey there! I'm Adrianna.
Convinced that the right pun can light up any moment, and I'm on a mission to sprinkle that laughter into your day!

Discover more about me.

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