Get ready to kick off some laughter with these 65 hilarious jokes all about the exciting world of soccer. Whether you’re a soccer enthusiast or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to add some humor to your time on the field.
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Table of Contents
Soccer Puns
Prepare for some goal-worthy humor with this collection of puns centered around soccer. Share these puns to spread the soccer joy and humor!
- Why did the soccer player bring a ladder to the game? To “rise” above the competition!
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of music? “Goal”-den oldies, of course!
- Did you hear about the soccer player who opened a bakery? He specializes in “kick” cookies!
- How do soccer players greet each other? “Kicking” back, of course!
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite fruit? “Goal”-den apples.
- Why did the soccer player bring a backpack to the match? To “score” some snacks!
- How do soccer players apologize? They say, “Sorry, I was in a “kickin’” mood.”
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite planet? “Goal”-axy.
- Why did the soccer player bring a soccer ball to lunch? To “pass” the time.
- Why was the soccer player always in a good mood? Because he had a “field” of jokes!
Soccer One Liners
Enjoy these quick one-liners for some goal-tastic amusement. Share these jokes to add a touch of humor to your soccer games.
- Soccer: where “passes” become puns.
- I tried playing soccer once, but I’m not “kicked” for it.
- How do soccer players stay cool on the field? They “goal-trot” for ice cream.
- Soccer is like a dance with a ball.
- Why did the soccer player bring a pen to the game? To “draw” up a strategy.
- Soccer is the art of agility and teamwork.
- I told my friend I’m going to play soccer. They said, “That’s a “kickin’” idea!”
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite Olympic sport? “Goal” medals.
- Soccer: where “headers” and laughs are abundant.
- Soccer: where “goals” are a way of life.
Best Soccer Jokes (Part 1)
Enjoy the first part of the best soccer jokes that are sure to make you smile. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to soccer-related humor!
- Why did the soccer player bring a ladder to the championship match? To “climb” to victory!
- What do you call a soccer player who never gives up? “Un-goal-tible.”
- Did you hear about the soccer player who opened a travel agency? They offer “goal-kick” vacations!
- How do soccer players say goodbye? They “header” you later!
- Why did the soccer player bring a picnic basket to the game? To “score” some delicious eats.
- Soccer player’s favorite dance move? The “goal” dance.
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite dessert after a match? “Hat trick” brownies.
- Did you hear about the soccer player who started a pizza business? Their specialty is “slice” shots.
- Why did the soccer player bring a stopwatch to lunch? To “time” their meal.
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite time of day? “Match”-o’clock!
Best Soccer Jokes (Part 2)
Enjoy the second part of the best soccer jokes that are sure to keep the laughter going. These jokes continue the fun-filled soccer humor!
- Why did the soccer player refuse to share their lucky soccer ball? They didn’t want to “lose their touch.”
- Did you hear about the soccer player who opened a laundry service? They wanted to “score” with clean clothes.
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite part of soccer? The “goal kick” moment.
- How do soccer players practice for a big match? They “penalty” it in.
- Why did the soccer coach go to the beach with sunscreen and a soccer ball? To work on their “sand soccer.”
- What did the soccer player say to the stressed-out newbie? “Let’s “dribble” your worries and find your “flow.”
- Why was the soccer team always cool under pressure? Because they knew how to “roll with the kicks.”
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite kind of footwear? “Cleats.”
- Did you hear about the soccer player who became a gardener? He mastered the “corner kick” on weeds.
- How do soccer players take their coffee? “With a side of “free kicks.”
- Why don’t soccer players ever do well in school? Because they’re always dribbling!
- What did the soccer ball say to the goalpost? “I find your net presence very attractive.”
- How do soccer players stay cool during the summer? They use “fan-tastic” footwork.
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite way to travel? By “goal”-f cart!
- Why did the soccer player bring a map to practice? In case they needed to “cross” the field.
- What did the soccer player say when asked about their favorite type of pasta? “Penne-lty kicks are the best!”
- How do soccer players stay calm under pressure? They practice “penalty” control.
- What do you call a sheep that plays soccer? A “baller”!
- Why don’t soccer players make good musicians? Because they always “miss” the beat.
- Why was the soccer ball upset? Because it heard the players were kicking up a “racket”!
- Cartoon graphic of soccer players having a fun match on the field.
- How do soccer players stay focused during a game? They “goal-llect” their thoughts.
- Why did the soccer coach bring a ladder to practice? To work on their “header” game.
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of cookie? “Penal-treats.”
- Why don’t soccer players ever become detectives? Because they can’t stop “passing” the clues.
- How do soccer players send letters? They “net-mail” them.
- What did the soccer player do when they couldn’t find their cleats? They “kicked” themselves.
- Why did the soccer player bring an umbrella to the match? In case there was a “downpour.”
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite animal? The “goal-den retriever.”
- Why did the soccer player bring a guitar to practice? To work on their “free-kick” solo.
- How do soccer players relax after a game? They “goal” meditate.
- Cartoon graphic of soccer players sharing a laugh on the field.
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite game at the arcade? “Foosball.”
- Why did the soccer player bring a broom to practice? To “sweep” the competition.
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite subject in school? “Kicker-nomics.”
Final Thoughts
We hope these soccer jokes added some humor and excitement to your time on the field. If you’re still ready for more laughs, check out these other collections of jokes:
- Sports Humor Jokes
Remember, sharing a good laugh is a great way to enjoy your soccer games and connect with fellow players. Share these jokes with your soccer buddies for some goal-worthy enjoyment!
