Who doesn’t need a good laugh now and then? Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood at work, keep the kids entertained, or just share a smile, these 101 clean jokes are perfect for any occasion. Ready to laugh out loud? Let’s dive in these Hilarious Clean Jokes!
Table of Contents
Classic Puns and Wordplay
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
- It was two-tired!
2. What do you call fake spaghetti?
- An impasta!
3. How do you organize a space party?
- You planet!
4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything!
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
- Frostbite!
6. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
- It let out a little wine!
7. Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems!
8. Why do ducks have feathers?
- To cover their butt quacks!
9. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
- A carrot!
10. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? – Nacho cheese!
11. How does a penguin build its house? – Igloos it together!
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? – Because he was outstanding in his field!
13. What do you call an alligator in a vest? – An investigator!
14. What has ears but cannot hear? – A cornfield!
15. What gets wetter the more it dries? – A towel!
16. What do you call a sleeping bull? – A bulldozer!
17. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? – They don’t have the guts.
18. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? – Because he was always spotted.
19. What do you call a pile of cats? – A meowtain!
20. How do you catch a squirrel? – Climb a tree and act like a nut!
21. Why do bananas use sunscreen? – Because they peel!
22. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? – A dino-snore!
23. What has keys but can’t open locks? – A piano!
24. Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? – She was a little hoarse!
25. What do you call a cow with no legs? – Ground beef!
Animal Antics and Silly Scenarios Hilarious Clean Jokes
26. Why are ghosts bad liars? – Because you can see right through them!
27. What kind of tree fits in your hand? – A palm tree!
28. What do lawyers wear to court? – Lawsuits!
29. What’s a frog’s favorite type of shoes? – Open toad sandals!
30. What do you call a bear with no teeth? – A gummy bear!
31. What did the ocean say to the shore? – Nothing, it just waved.
32. Why do bees have sticky hair? – Because they use honeycombs!
33. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? – A stick!
34. Why was the computer cold? – It left its Windows open!
35. What do you call two birds in love? – Tweethearts!
36. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? – Boo-berries!
37. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? – A waist of time!
38. Why do bicycles fall over? – Because they are two-tired!
39. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? – Supplies!
40. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? – They’d crack each other up!
41. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? – A river!
42. What do you call a dog magician? – A labracadabrador!
43. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? – A trombone!
44. Why did the tomato turn red? – Because it saw the salad dressing!
45. Why did the bicycle fall over? – It was two-tired!
46. What did one wall say to the other? – I’ll meet you at the corner!
47. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? – An abdominal snowman!
48. What do you call a fish with two knees? – A two-knee fish!
49. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? – Live stream!
50. What did the zero say to the eight? – Nice belt!
Workplace Wit and Everyday Humor
51. Why do crabs never give to charity?
- Because they’re shellfish!
52. What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
- A satisfactory!
53. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
- An irrelephant!
54. What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
- A Dell Rolling in the Deep!
55. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
- Supplies!
56. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
- They don’t have the guts.
57. What did one plate say to the other plate?
- Dinner is on me!
58. Why did the student eat his homework?
- Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
59. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
- A stick.
60. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything!
61. Why did the picture go to jail?
- Because it was framed!
62. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
- Frostbite!
63. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
- In case he got a hole in one!
64. What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
- Roberto.
65. What do you call a funny mountain?
- Hill-arious!
66. What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick!
67. Why do bees hum?
- Because they don’t know the words!
68. What do you call a fake noodle?
- An impasta!
69. How do you make holy water?
- You boil the hell out of it!
70. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
- Nacho cheese!
71. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
- Sneakers!
72. How does a penguin build its house?
- Igloos it together!
73. What has keys but can’t open locks?
- A piano!
74. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
- It was two tired!
Miscellaneous Merriment
75. What do you call a belt made of watches?
- A waist of time!
76. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
- He was outstanding in his field!
77. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
- It gets toad away!
78. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
- Because some relationships don’t work out!
79. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
- Thunderwear!
80. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married.
- The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent!
81. Why do banana never feel lonely?
- Because they hang out in bunches!
82. What do you call a cow with no legs?
- Ground beef!
83. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
- An abdominal snowman!
84. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
- A nervous wreck!
85. What did one wall say to the other wall?
- I’ll meet you at the corner!
86. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
- Because they make up everything!
87. How do you throw a space party?
- You planet!
88. Why did the tomato turn red?
- Because it saw the salad dressing!
89. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
- Wrap music!
90. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
- An investigator!
91. What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
- European!
92. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
- A gummy bear!
93. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
- They don’t have the guts.
94. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
- Bison!
95. What do you call a pile of kittens?
- A meowtain!
96. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
- Because he was always spotted.
97. What do you get from a pampered cow?
- Spoiled milk!
98. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
- Because he was outstanding in his field!
99. What do you call a man who can do a job in 12 months?
- A calendar!
100. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
- It had a virus!
101. What did one elevator say to the other?
- I think I’m coming down with something!
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