150 Dad Jokes (Absolute Collection)

What’s the secret ingredient to a dad joke? It’s a sprinkle of corn, a dash of pun, and an entire tablespoon of dad charm.

The moment a man becomes a father, his jokes transform, adopting a whimsical blend of humor and wit, often leaving the audience in a playful state of eye-rolling exasperation.

It’s a legacy passed down through generations, from dads to their children, a rite of passage into the realm of fatherhood. Yes, even the moms aren’t spared; they too contribute to this timeless tradition with their own brand of jokes.

Dad jokes are a unique genre; they’re so terribly good that you can’t help but laugh.

Whether you’re the one telling them or on the receiving end, there’s a universal appeal to their simplicity and charm. In a world full of complex humor, dad jokes are a breath of fresh, laughter-filled air.

Best Corny Dad Jokes

1. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? Because it lost its bearings!
2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta!
3. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
4. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish!
5. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
6. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
7. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
8. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
9. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
10. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re a little shellfish!
11. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
12. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
13. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
14. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
15. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
16. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
17. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
18. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
19. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
20. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
21. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
22. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
23. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
24. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
25. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
26. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
27. Why couldn’t the bike find its way home? Because it lost its bearings!
28. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
29. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
30. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
31. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish!
32. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
33. Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they don’t have chairs!
34. How does a snowman get around? By riding an icicle!
35. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
36. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
37. What do you call a bear stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear!
38. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
39. Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
40. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
41. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
42. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry!
43. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
44. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
45. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
46. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
47. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
48. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
49. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!

Best One-Liner Dads Jokes

1. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
4. I threw a boomerang a couple of years ago. I know live in constant fear.
5. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
6. I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze!
7. I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
8. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
9. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
11. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
12. I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.
13. I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
14. I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
15. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
16. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
17. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
18. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
19. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
20. I threw a boomerang two years ago; I know live in constant fear.
21. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
22. I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
23. I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze!
24. I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
25. I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.
26. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
27. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
28. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
29. I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
30. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
31. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
32. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
33. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
34. I threw a boomerang two years ago; I now live in constant fear.
35. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
36. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
37. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That’s a big step forward.
38. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
39. I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.
40. I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
41. I used to be a doctor, but I lost my patience.
42. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
43. Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
44. I’m on a whiskey diet, and I’ve lost three days already.
45. I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
46. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
47. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
48. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Best Dad Joke Puns

1. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
2. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won’t stop sending me holiday ads.
3. I used to be a butcher because I backed myself into a corner.
4. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, she gave me a hug.
5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.
7. I threw a boomerang a couple of years ago, I now live in constant fear.
8. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape, that would be a big step forward.
9. I used to be a baker, I kneaded dough.
10. Have you heard about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
11. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
12. I’m on a whiskey diet, I’ve lost three days already.
13. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.
14. I threw a boomerang two years ago, I now live in constant fear.
15. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray, is a seasoned veteran now.
16. I’m friends with all electricians, we have good current connections.
17. I used to be a doctor, but then I lost my patience.
18. Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
19. I used to have a job collecting leaves, I was raking it in.
20. I told my computer I needed a break, it froze.
21. Having sex in an elevator is wrong, on so many levels.
22. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, she gave me a hug.
23. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y.
24. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
25. I used to be a butcher, I backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in my work.
26. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
27. My wife told me I was immature, I told her to get out of my fort.
28. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.
29. I threw a boomerang two years ago, I now live in constant fear.
30. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray, is now a seasoned veteran.
31. I’m on a whiskey diet, I’ve lost three days already.
32. I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
33. Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
34. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape, that’s a big step forward.
35. Having sex in an elevator is wrong, on so many levels.
36. I used to have a job collecting leaves, I was raking it in.
37. I’m friends with all electricians, we have good current connections.
38. I used to be a doctor, I lost my patience.
39. I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze!
40. Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
41. I’m on a whiskey diet, I’ve lost three days already.
42. I used to be a baker, because I kneaded dough.
43. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray, is a seasoned veteran now.
44. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
45. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, she gave me a hug.
46. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
47. I used to be a butcher, because I backed myself into a corner.
48. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won’t stop sending me holiday ads.

Final Thoughts

As we wrap up this tribute to the timeless art of dad jokes, it’s clear that their charm lies in their simplicity and the joy they bring, regardless of how many eye rolls they might induce.

Dad jokes are more than just words strung together for a quick laugh; they’re a testament to the playful, loving nature of fathers everywhere. They connect generations, create smiles, and remind us not to take life too seriously.

So, whether you’re a dad looking to expand your joke arsenal, someone in need of a good laugh, or simply on the hunt for the perfect dad quote or Father’s Day caption, we hope these dad joke puns have delivered. Here’s to the dads, the pun-masters, and the joy they bring to our lives, one groan-worthy joke at a time!

For more check out the Dad jokes book.

Reader Favorite Dad Jokes

1. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!

Fresh Dad Jokes

2. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.

Best Dad Jokes about Animals

3. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

Best Dad Jokes About Sports

4. Why do basketball players love donuts? Because they can dunk them!

Best Corny Dad Jokes

5. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!

Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

Best Dad Joke Puns

7. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!